Oscars Suck

I hate the Oscars.

Why? Take a look at the picture below. These are pictures of the nominees for best picture, best actor and actress, best supporting actor and actress, and best director.

White people be white

White people

Notice anything they have in common? The Oscars have way too many white people nominated.  You are telling me that there wasn’t one single movie staring someone who wasn’t white that was worthy of nomination? Or one single actor or actress that wasn’t white that was good enough to nominate?

It is all about rewarding the rich and famous. It is very rare that anyone who isn’t already rich and famous gets nominated for these things. More than that, in the culture of rewarding the rich and famous for being rich and famous the celebrities also get tons of free stuff either lent to them (as in the case of a lot of the jewelry) or just given to them. Buy your own damn iphone or whatever the hell they give these presenters and nominees.

They are also boring. They famously go over and yet instead of cutting out the stupid comedy and or dancing bits they limit how long the winners can talk. Maybe if they didn’t spend ten minutes introducing the nominees they might get through the show faster. At least the Super Bowl has good commercials. The Oscars ain’t even got that.

The best films never get nominated. Some movie like Winter’s Bone that no one has seen gets nominated but The Expendables is overlooked? No Machete? No Predators? No Paranormal Activity 2? Outrageous.

There’s a reason why certain films are called “Oscar bait:” because it is true. If someone were to make a movie about a mentally challenged person who was involved in WWII and was dying of cancer and contained a flashback to the Victorian Era it would win every single Oscar. Even best documentary.

Tropic Thunder was right though, never go full retard.

The Oscars are so predictable that South Park predicted that Brokeback Mountain would win tons of awards back in 1998 – seven years before Brokeback Mountain even came out.

Gay Cowboys Rule

The South Park Prophecy

This isn’t to say that films like Brokeback Mountain aren’t good. It is just that Oscar bait is so obvious that I am starting to suspect that the Oscars are really some sort of elaborate hoax. Like the moon landing or that there’s really some place called Cleveland or Cincinnati

To prove just how predictable the Oscars are I will now issue my Oscars predictions. Of the nominated films I have only seen Inception, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Alice in Wonderland, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Salt, Iron Man 2 but I am guessing I can guess more than half of the winners.

Best Picture: The King’s Speech
Best Actor: Colin Firth
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale
Best Actress: Natalie Portman
Best Supporting Actress: Hailee Steinfeld
Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3
Best Art Direction: Alice in Wonderland
Best Cinematography: Black Swan
Costume Design: The Tempest
Directing David Fincher
Documentary: Restrepo
Documentary Short: The Warriors of Qiugang
Editing: 127 Hours
Foreign Language: Outside the Law
Makeup: The Way Back
Music: The Social Network
Song:  Thangled
Animated Short: Day and Night
Short Film: Na Wewe
Sound Editing: Inception
Sound Mixing: Inception
Visual Effects: Inception
Adapted Screenplay: 127 Hours
Original Screenplay: The King’s Speech

I don’t even know what most of these are about.

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One Response to Oscars Suck

  1. Dr. Zaius says:

    if non-whites get offered no good roles, they will not be nominated. that is the genesis of the prob.

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