“Haters be hatin’,” goes a popular saying. What sort of wisdom does this modern day proverb, this “strategy for dealing with situations” (in the Burkian sense), offer us? Facile consolation it the face of adversity? Reassurance that we are justified in our ways, objections be damned? Might it not be a productive move to ask oneself, Why be the haters hatin’, exactly? Do they hate because they know not any better? Because they can? Or because they must?

The cup of bile spileth over.

As the venerable Zaius has eloquently expounded in our mission statement, the eatpreyhate (hereinafter eph) collaborative is not a hate group. We believe it is important that this be well understood. Having said that, though, we are most defiantly a hateful group. It is a subtle but crucial distinction. Allow me to elaborate.

Let us first consider some actual hate groups. The Ku Klux Clan, Aryan Nations, the Westboro Baptist Church, the American Family Association—take your pick. You will find, I think, that, regardless of their individual agendas, such organizations tend to exhibit certain similarities in terms of the hatred around which their respective collective identities are formed. It is, more often than not, narrowly oriented—localized, one might say; it is typically directed towards minorities; it is also irrational (in that it neither stands nor listens to reason).

In contrast, we here at eph are firm believers in generalized hatin’—universal in nature and global in scale. It is a wide net of antipathy that we cast, and we cast it squarely towards the majority. Ours is  non-discriminatory, non-preferential, open-to-all, equal-opportunity resentment. Moreover, it is very much rational. Orderly. Theoretically grounded. Fuckers have it coming, and we have literature to prove it.

“But,” some might object, “why hate at all? It is such an ugly, primitive emotion…” To you I say, not so. Should you object to the term itself, I shall propose another one: critique—for what is hatred if not raw, passionate, heart-felt criticism? It is right, and it is necessary. With its rageful glare and accusatory finger, it cuts through pretense, calls bullshit, and demands accountability. Because sometimes, dear readers, it is not enough to mutter under your breath that the emperor is naked. Sometimes it takes a well-aimed handful of feces to get the job done.

I propose, therefore, that to be hatin’ is to refuse to acquiesce. To be hatin’ is to imagine something better. To be hatin’ is to let your discontent be heard far and wide, echoing through the urban jungles and rural savannahs like the bellowing call of howler monkey.

This guy.

The time has come to fling shit and raise hell. Hate on.

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One Response to Oderimus!

  1. Dr. Zira says:

    Besides – “Critics be critiquin'” just don’t have a nice ring to it.

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